So as I have outlined in many of my entries prior, I am sort of A-typical, to say the least. I've mentioned my obsessions with relationships, human nature and sexuality as much as I admit to my lack of desire to experience any of it first hand. We know I'm sarcastic and I've honed my comedic skills and use what I've learned to guard against things I fear. I enjoy living and dressing androgynous because femininity is an easy way to get hurt. It's viewed as a weakness, (I know. I'm thinking as I write it "what year is this") and I want to be stronger then I am in spite of the fact that I know I shouldn't. I spend a lot of time deep inside myself inspecting and critiquing who I am and why. This particular blog entry is dedicated to someone I don't really know and quite likely will never get to meet but whom I owe a great deal. This stranger from so far away has opened me up and made me feel more human then I ever have. They don't know it. They probably never will.
Here's the thing, or part of it. This person randomly befriended me on a popular networking site. One I use mostly as an outlet and for further study of humor and how people react. It's mindless fun for me. I witness outrageous things and am outrageous myself without judgement. Refreshing. This stranger threw a monkey wrench in the works. This person, whom shall remain nameless, has taught me a lot without even realizing. I am very good at being guarded and "stranger from faraway" has broken down some of that and caused me to explore and discover I may be capable of more then I thought. This started for me as kind of more interesting, like a science project. At this point I have a friendship and care a great deal for someone I don't actually know in the flesh. I would love to be able to meet this stranger and have a conversation and witness character and personality and see how it differs from what I know from written conversation. Beyond the anilitical side of me though, is a woman who has bonded and genuinly has chemistry with said stranger and has a lot in common with them so to meet would just be fun. This person is confident and sexy. Smart and funny. Successful and in control. Open and brutally honest. All things I don't consider myself to be. This fascinates me. I am drawn to "stranger" and admire and respect them. I hope this journey continues and I learn more and more as I go.
All of this leads me to this little side note because of the nonjudgemental nature this stranger possess and which I find refreshing and not unlike myself. I get frustrated by judgement. I read Portia De Rossi's book, "Unbearable Lightness" mostly because the idea of an eating disorder is so foreign to me and I was looking to see it from the point of view of a sufferer. If you haven't read the book, you really should. She is a phenomenal writer and her detail of the frame of mind and thought process are incredible. Beyond learning about all that, I was struck by the idea and sobering realisation that for Portia at least, all of it was born from insecurity and fear of judgement. The fact that she was afraid to be herself sexually is tragic. This is a subject near and dear to my heart.
I am an advocate for being exactly who you are and fuck anyone who thinks that's not ok. I don't always practice what I preach, but for the most part I am not timid about speaking my mind and encourage others to do the same. I try to go by the motto "Live and let live". That is to say, you don't have the right to judge people and condemn them for their pursuit of happiness just because it takes a path that differs from yours. Everyone has a right to find and hold what makes them happy as long as it doesn't infringe on someone else's freedom. What i mean by that is its not ok to harm or hurt someone else or force another into anything for the sake of your happiness. Just wanted to make that clear that I dont condone anything that involves another who is unwillingly involved. Don't beat people beacause it makes you happy. Don't touch children, that makes you a pervert. Now that I have explained what I mean when say you have the right to pursue your happiness I will move on.
The word pervert is used to describe things that are not perverted. That's wrong. The phrase "that offends me" is quite frankly over and improperly used to try to justify bigotry. That is wrong. We as human beings, no matter how pompous and egotistical we are, have no right to inflict pain, mental, emotional, physical or otherwise on another human being simply because we don't understand or want to agree with another's choices. That's wrong. The fact that people taunt and tease others to the point of mental anguish and cause self loathing and hatred where it otherwise would not dwell is wrong. To torture someone for what they do or who they are to the point where they harm or even kill themselves is barbaric. Why we think this practice is justified is beyond me.
This portion is indeed a hand on the shoulder from me to the homosexual population. I love you and stand by you. I don't hate anyone and there's no need to yet so many people hate for no reason. I don't understand why so many people are so stuck on who loves who but it's childish and needs to stop. If 2 adults are committed to one another and treat each other well and with respect and love, then dammit, that's a family. Just because it's not what your portrait looks like doesn't mean it's any less valid. I hear all the time that gay marriage threatens the sanctity of marriage. That's bullshit and any logical person knows this. Heterosexuality is doing a bang up job of flushing sanctity down the toilet but that's overlooked. I have known people who stayed in abusive relationships because of the urging of the people who should have their best interest at heart but clearly don't. They will point out that there are children involved, or the abuser is a good provider or some such nonsense yet that will be the first person to cast judgement on a happy, healthy homosexual relationship. That's infuriating stuff. People overlook infidelity and remain in loveless, unhappy relationships for fear of what othe people think all the time. We give each other too much power and it should stop. It's dangerous. You deserve to love and be loved and to be happy no matter what that looks like. Don't let anyone tell you different. RuPaul uses a quote that basically says what someone else thinks of me is none of my business. We give the opinion of a fool credence when we let it affect us. Without that, it's just the spouting of verbal diarrhea out the mouth of an idiot.
So, all that out of the way, I will continue with describing the positivity I have found in a stranger. I like that they see below the surface and still take the time to get to know more. This person may just dig me out of the hole I've buried myself and hide inside of. Only time will tell. For now, I'm thankful for the new unique friendship and insight I gain from each conversation. They have no idea the loyal friend they are making or how much I enjoy and cherish them. I raise my glass to relationships born and bred from different circumstances! Cheers, Mate! ;)
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