You can't fit me in that box... no matter how hard you try.

Here's the thing...

I really don't fit in a box at all. I'm in construction but love fashion and culture. I clean up ok and enjoy the theater and art but I burp and fart whenever I have to. Don't get me wrong... I know when it's ok to let one rip and don't do that sort of thing when I'm out to dinner or around those who don't know me just yet. Once you’re in my circle, you get it all, like it or not. That's another part of "the thing", most people either love me or hate me. My sense of humor has no censor and I thrive on the reactions I get from others so over the top is my middle name. That's good too because I wasn't given an actual middle name when I was born.

I am a contradiction and often times that doesn't work for others but I really am not interested in changing that much to please them. I know there are some flaws I don't like about myself and I try to pinpoint them and work on them. In fact, I am always going to be a work in progress. For the most part though, I am me and that’s who I am. A little quirky, never really one of the cool kids but I can adapt and feel at ease in any situation. I am not great at anything but love to learn new things so I kinda know a little about a lot. I love spending quality time with my grandfather, Erastus or with my nephew, Cameron. That says something as well. I get along great with 80 year olds and 2 year olds. It's true! I have always hung out with folks that were older than myself and can always be found right in the center of a pile of kids playing Lego's on the floor.

My dad likes to tell people about how when I was 11 I would be home watching Turner Classic Movies while others my age were watching MTV. The truth is I came home from school one day and caught the movie Funny Girl from the middle and felt a connection with the character Fanny Brice from the get -go. I had to see it start to finish and let me just say it wasn't easy to find that movie before DVD came out and internet was in every home. Now almost everything is out there some where and it's relatively easy to find it if you look hard enough. I learned a ton from watching Fanny in action. She was never the prettiest or the most conventional but she had passion. That was the beginning of all this for me. I then started watching musicals and dramas and romantic comedy and anything I could get before my eyes. Through that, my love of music grew as well. Music and film is filled with emotions and characters who show you how to be even if it happens by showing who you don't want to be.

I tend to hide my deeper side behind my goofy side and suppose that's where film and music come in to play. I can get into a mood and just need to watch Moulin Rouge. The music and the camera angles are phenomenal! I often get sucked into a week long marathon of The Mirror Has Two Faces. I can watch The Mirror with Barb Streisand about 10 times over and over and feel like it's the first time. I can watch the L Word and experience the growth and passion between the characters Bette Porter and Tina Kinard and think there is hope in this world for people who love one another and are willing to work hard to make a relationship that can last, gay or straight. The way they shoot some scenes and the music they put behind it are so powerful on that show sometimes. The wardrobe for Bette is a dream wardrobe for me if I just were a different character in my own life. Jennifer Beals who plays Bette Porter is an inspiration to me. She breathes such life into everything she does from her family to her career as well as her photography. She is steadfast in the things she believes in and puts everything she has into everything she does. She has class and beauty and talent beyond words. She is on the top of my list of 5 people who given the chance to have a cup of tea and chat with, I believe she could change my life for the better just as her work does. I love when I watch something and feel the pain or joy that the character is going through as if it is my own. The fact that people have the ability to make me not feel like the only one who has ever felt that way is such a comfort. It tells me that someone felt like I do at some point because they took the time to write it into the life of a character for everyone to get to know.

Timing and delivery and chemistry are so important. When those things are all there magic happens. Will and Grace and the L Word are great examples of this for me. I have been told I look a little like Debra Messing and that I act a lot like Megan Mullaly's character, Karen Walker. I hope all that is even a little true. Megan, by the way, is also on that list I have tucked away in my brain of fantasy conversations I would give my left one to be able to have. Oh, that would be a fun one!

I am a christian but very open minded and that doesn't sit well with some in that world. I work in construction but when people hear that they don't believe a girl who is 5'5" and 140 lbs does what I do. They expect someone a bit more... "butch", if I may when they meet me after having heard about me. When people hear I'm single and hear what I do for a living many assume gay but I'm not that either. I'm just single and happy. If it's meant to be it will be and thats just how I feel about it. Unlike most chicks on the cusp of 30, I don't look for love because I'm genuinely happy as I am. I learned early on from the mistakes of others that you can't change anyone and if someone tries to change me to fit some mold then they don't understand or appreciate me and therefore don't belong in my life. I really don't fit in the box but they still try to cram me in. So i march to a different drum... is that such a bad thing? I hope not...

So my life isn't glamorous or exciting per say, but I do what I can with what I was given. I'm not high maintenance and won't make any kind of trophy wife. I'm very old fashioned but live in a modern world so what else can I do? I have to escape now and then with a great playlist on my ipod or by watching Definitely Maybe... because I'm convinced I'm someone's April. So the soundtrack keeps on playing and character's come and go and my show runs season after season so I stay tuned in and watch what happens. Care to join me?