Today... I...am...30...

...GULP!! And it hurts... BAD!

I'm not usually the type to be fretting something like this but it's painful. Luckily I have my great friends to take my mind off the doom with another overnight Boston trip last night full of fun and festivities!

I have considered the idea of trying to act like a grownup now with this mile stone on it's way. I have been accused of being juvenile, believe it or not. I know what you're thinking... "Not you, Kim"! That's what I thought, too. Crazy! It has been suggested through my entire life that my diet should be altered as well. Apparently a human being should not survive one sugar and poptarts. Who knew?

My roommate experiments with different foods and healthy diets and such. He is currently working on a dairy-free, vegetarian way of life and tries to consume mostly organic sustenance. This would not work for me. The smells that emanate from our kitchen are far from appetizing. I happen to be owner of a hyper- sensitive sniffer and a very particular palate. I have trouble with texture and some of the things he cooks up like a scientist in his laboratory give me the dry heaves just to look at it.

A few weeks ago he got a new organic BBQ sauce and thought I should try it. He brought a spoonful to me in my room and shoved it in my face. Upon visual inspection, I noticed UFO's or "unidentified floating objects" within. I declined but he insisted the idea that things that are good for me almost always taste like poo was all in my head and I like an idiot let my guard down. That BBQ sauce did taste like what I imagine poo to taste like and that is bad. I immediately reached for my wooden salad bowl full of candy for a packet of Fun Dip to remedy the problem. For those of you who may not know what Fun Dip is let me describe for you this wonderful palate cleansing delight. It is a packet separated into two sections. The large pouch houses lovely sugar powder that comes in many delicious flavors while the second has a pure sugar stick with witch to eat the colorful sugar found next door to it. You simply lick the sugar stick then dip it into the colored, flavored sugar packet and enjoy. Then repeat this process... or if you have no patience as I often times do, just dump the sugar straight into your face and then eat the stick on it's own. Both are acceptable methods. Either way, Mary Poppins was on to something with her song about a spoonful of sugar helping the medicine go down.

One night I arrived home from work and announced that I craved one of my favorite things; a grilled cheese sandwich dipped in ketchup. My roommate who I can only assume is either deaf or delusional says in response "I made some very good lentil soup". Now I thought this to be an asinine thing to say since lentil soup in no way resembles fried buttery bread with decadent melted cheese inside and therefore made no sense to even verbalize such a thing unless he wanted praise for his accomplishment. It just seemed unwarranted and unrelated to me.

So maybe potty humor and the notion that the food pyramid should have two sections that consist solely of sugar and fruit cups are ideas that only an adolescent could get away with. Maybe a 30 year old shouldn't go to Stop and Shop in her pink pajama pants looking a bit like I was on my to a slumber party and I got lost and just wandered in for shelter. It is possible that all this is true but I figure my way of thinking has served me quite well these past 30 years and the old adage if it aint broke, don't fix it is a popular one for a reason. I stand firm on the fact that Toys R Us and I have the right idea when we say, "I don't want to grow up" and I intend to stay this way for at least the next 30 years or so.